My son, my baby boy! I miss you so much! I think it will never quit hurting so bad! I dream about you, I think about you every waking minute. I want you back in my life, so I can hug you and kiss you and wipe your tears away and tell you everything is going to be ok. We could play basketball together, go for a drive, ride the motorcycles, shoot the gun, sit on the porch and talk or any of the many things we used to do. I really don't know how to live my life without you in it. I pick up my phone to call you, and realize I can't. I find myself wondering when you are going to call, just to remember you aren't! I want so bad to be able to talk to you! I talk to you every morning driving to work then through out the day and driving home from work, then through out the evening. I wonder if you are hearing what I am saying. I long to hear your voice and see your face in real life. I know you sent me the message that everything would be ok, but I'm not ok. I feel like I am just dieing inside and nothing can stop it. I just want to go to the cemetery and lay by your graveside and never leave there. Tomorrow is 4 months since we laid you to rest. How could time keep going when you are gone? I love you forever and a day!
Live life for today.....
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
One of those days!!
Ever had one of those days, where as soon as your eyes open in the morning, you feel as though something isn't right?? Well today is one of those days for me! Seems no matter what I do, just can't shake the feeling.
Dreamed about Skylar last night, man what a dream! He was there bigger than life in my face telling me he misses me and was happy to see me. Has he not been seeing me? They say, people that have passed on sometimes come to you in your dreams!
I don't know, maybe it's me, been in a funk all week, can't seem to get out of it. Probably because Saturday is 4 months since Sky died. Man some days it seems like it was just yesterday.
I know you guys that read my blog are probably tired of hearing about this, but sorry!
I have to get it out somehow! This seems like the perfect place to do it, I can just type how I am feeling and get it all out!
I love and miss him so much! Been working on a couple of projects with the pics I have of him. They are gonna turn out awesome!
Live life for today....
Dreamed about Skylar last night, man what a dream! He was there bigger than life in my face telling me he misses me and was happy to see me. Has he not been seeing me? They say, people that have passed on sometimes come to you in your dreams!
I don't know, maybe it's me, been in a funk all week, can't seem to get out of it. Probably because Saturday is 4 months since Sky died. Man some days it seems like it was just yesterday.
I know you guys that read my blog are probably tired of hearing about this, but sorry!
I have to get it out somehow! This seems like the perfect place to do it, I can just type how I am feeling and get it all out!
I love and miss him so much! Been working on a couple of projects with the pics I have of him. They are gonna turn out awesome!
Live life for today....
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Graduate
Well my Little Man graduated from K-1 last night. Let me tell you it was a fantastic night, one to remember. We are so proud of him. Afterward, we took him to eat at the place of his choice. He chose a mexican food resturant that wasn't too bad. We had Duce there with us, Mom and Dad, Aunt Dadda and Aunt Mammie! What a fun family time. Hayden and Duce were playing with my camera and took several pics, some good, some of the table, LOL! We also learned that there is a girl in Hayden's class that he is, by his own words, "so in love with". Aunt Mammie had to do some investigating to find out which one she was, he told us her name then pointed her out in one of the many pics that were taken. Well needless to say, she is a little cutie pie!
Well that's about all I have for today.
Live life for today....
Well that's about all I have for today.
Live life for today....
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Rainy Days
What a wet and cold weekend, I done almost nothing except sit on the sofa covered up with my Harley blankie, T'Pel on one side and Tuvok on the other. The birds got taken care of, everybody else was on their own.
Now at work and it is still raining. First of the month, billing time. A really busy time for me. I have to say it makes it easier to sit in my office and do what I have to do when it is raining.
Talked to Hayden, he is so precious. I asked him what he was doing, he told me he was trying to find the big hole in the earth that was in the picture, but he didn't see a hole. He kept asking me where it was, well I was on the phone and he was at Grannie and Poppy's so I couldn't see what he was looking at. He says Aunt Dadda sent him pictures to his house too but he didn't get them. Patty and Jimmy went on vacation to the Grand Canyon, hence the "big hole in the earth" he was looking for.
Sunday is Mother's Day....Not looking forward to it at all.
Live life for today.....
Now at work and it is still raining. First of the month, billing time. A really busy time for me. I have to say it makes it easier to sit in my office and do what I have to do when it is raining.
Talked to Hayden, he is so precious. I asked him what he was doing, he told me he was trying to find the big hole in the earth that was in the picture, but he didn't see a hole. He kept asking me where it was, well I was on the phone and he was at Grannie and Poppy's so I couldn't see what he was looking at. He says Aunt Dadda sent him pictures to his house too but he didn't get them. Patty and Jimmy went on vacation to the Grand Canyon, hence the "big hole in the earth" he was looking for.
Sunday is Mother's Day....Not looking forward to it at all.
Live life for today.....
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Meet the birds
Toy, double-yellow-head amazon, Gussie Jo, blue & gold macaw and Peppy, blue-front amazon. Toy is momma's baby, Gussie Jo is momma's baby love. 
Toy Loves to talk and has a large vocabulary, will argue with you about anything. Peppy, you never know what he is going to be stuck on each day, usually it "hello" or "whacha doin" or singing "Old Macdonald". Gussie Jo only knows one word that he says on a daily basis and that is "Momma", his Auntie Vicky heard what she thought was "hello". So I wonder if he will ever really talk like the 2 amazons. If he doesn't that's ok, I love him anyway. And, yes, Auntie Vicky, he is still just a baby, he will learn.
Well I just wanted to post these pictures for some people that have started reading my blog.
Live life for today.....
Toy Loves to talk and has a large vocabulary, will argue with you about anything. Peppy, you never know what he is going to be stuck on each day, usually it "hello" or "whacha doin" or singing "Old Macdonald". Gussie Jo only knows one word that he says on a daily basis and that is "Momma", his Auntie Vicky heard what she thought was "hello". So I wonder if he will ever really talk like the 2 amazons. If he doesn't that's ok, I love him anyway. And, yes, Auntie Vicky, he is still just a baby, he will learn.
Well I just wanted to post these pictures for some people that have started reading my blog.
Live life for today.....
Monday, April 27, 2009
This N That
Ok so mom started her chemo on Thursday, she felt real good afterwards. Then I guess it suddenly hit her on Saturday night. She is sick. Was really hoping she would make it through it without getting sick.
Spent the afternoon Saturday on the lawnmower. Let me tell you, it pays to have a cell phone in your pocket when you are mowing. It comes in real handy when you see snakes and you don't want to get off the mower so you can't figure out what to do, just send Steve a text and let him come with the shovel after you have already chased down the snake and cut it up with the mower blade. That was the excitement of the weekend.
T'Pel learned what a switch was and what it is used for. Now she sees it and runs the other way. Tuvok sees it and runs down the street like he is running away from home. It's a never ending battle with the two of them.
Live for today...
Spent the afternoon Saturday on the lawnmower. Let me tell you, it pays to have a cell phone in your pocket when you are mowing. It comes in real handy when you see snakes and you don't want to get off the mower so you can't figure out what to do, just send Steve a text and let him come with the shovel after you have already chased down the snake and cut it up with the mower blade. That was the excitement of the weekend.
T'Pel learned what a switch was and what it is used for. Now she sees it and runs the other way. Tuvok sees it and runs down the street like he is running away from home. It's a never ending battle with the two of them.
Live for today...
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
No Smoking
Well I have gone Non-Smoking! I am hoping it gets better before it makes me go insane! Gum is my new best friend. When we found out mom has cancer, Tam looked at me and sai
d "you need to quit smoking" I told her I would when we get through this with mom. Well, I changed my mind and said why use that as an excuse, it is time. Now I am wondering what I have done to myself!!
Tuvok and T'Pel got new clothes from Auntie Vicky, well of course T'Pel loves her new dress, but Tuvok, he isn't too sure about his new ties. I have to tell him to let me get a picture then he can take it off, that is the only way he will sit still long enough for everybody else to see what he looks like in the tie.
d "you need to quit smoking" I told her I would when we get through this with mom. Well, I changed my mind and said why use that as an excuse, it is time. Now I am wondering what I have done to myself!!
Tuvok and T'Pel got new clothes from Auntie Vicky, well of course T'Pel loves her new dress, but Tuvok, he isn't too sure about his new ties. I have to tell him to let me get a picture then he can take it off, that is the only way he will sit still long enough for everybody else to see what he looks like in the tie.Live life for today....
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