Christmas

Christmas this year will not be happening for us. Hayden will get what he wants, Duce will also have his when we finally get to see him. Even though people don't want to hear me say this, it has been the hardest year of my entire life! Not even doing all the drugs and being disowned by basically everybody I know or getting off the drugs and saving my life or the horrible times I have had in my life has been as bad as this year. Fault me if you will, but don't judge me until you have walked in my shoes.
Some may think it should be easy to get on with my life, some think I should care about other things that are going on around me, well let me tell you the truth, I am as happy as I can be with my life right now, nothing anybody can say or do will ruin that. I just want to be able to live my life and get to have the time I deserve with my grandsons.
I am living out the words of my Aunt Ruby! On January 23, 2009 she told me "baby this pain will never go away" (and she should know) " Don't let anybody tell you what to do or what not to do, you have to do what you feel is right for you" Thanks Aunt Ruby, you are so right!
What will tomorrow bring? Who knows, but I know I am finally after many years being true to myself!

Live for today!

I love and miss you my son!

Making Memories

Hayden was over again on Friday night, he has proclaimed that Fridays are his day and night with Momo and Poppa! We have so much fun. Before our visit with him on Friday, we decided to go to Walmart to buy some things to keep him from getting bored. Last weekend that he came, he was trying to get Poppa to teach him how to juggle using shoes, well I can tell you that didn't work out too well, Momo's feet are small, but not that small. So we bought 3 Poppa sized balls to juggle with and in order to get balls small enough for Hayden's hands we had to buy 3 sets of jacks. Then we had to look at the board games, 500,000 points in Yatzee is a bit much! So we decided on Trouble. Poppa decided to get him some "Bubba" teeth that he could take out since his own don't come out! (anybody who knows Poppa knows what that means) Then it was off to the video store where kids movies are free! Fox and the Hound and Fox and the Hound 2 were hits with him! Strike one up for Momo, they were my choices! Anyway, Hayden will be a juggling pro in no time, I just know it! He loves to play jacks too, we had a blast in the floor playing. Did you know they make them huge and plastic now? Makes it harder to pick up 10 at a time! Ok now to the game Trouble! Well, for a beginner, he beat us not once but twice and this was fair and square, well almost completely! He says there is no way he can lose, and at Momo and Poppa's that is a true fact!
The whole reason for this blog is making memories is so important in life! Anybody who reads my blog, if you get nothing else out of it other than that, I will be happy!

Live life for today!