5 Months

Today has been five months since that terrible phone call, seems like it was just yesterday! I love and miss you so much my son!

Live life for today!!

Weekend

What a weekend, Tam has the pups, so I was there every morning and evening taking care of them while she was away on vacation. Went to McAlester and got a new car, that I love, it has A/C, a radio with a cd player that works, the horn works, I have a key that will get into every door and the trunk and the windshield wipers work!!! I feel like I am really moving up in the world! Loads of laundry were done, some unpacking was done, had to come back to work just to get a break!!
Went to the cemetery on Saturday, took a Mustang and put on Skylar's grave, this was a hard visit with him, first time in 5 years I haven't been able to call and say Happy Father's Day son. Tried to look at cards, however, that was not happening! Had to get out of the store.

Live life for today!

Moving on in Life

Ok so I finally done it, the move is almost complete, a few odds and ends left to get out of the house. It is time for me to be me and find out who me really is! Steve is going to be upset, but I think he will get over it. I got an apt that is perfect for me and the critters. Just hope the birds don't get too loud that the neighbors complain! I think my life will continue to improve from here. The way things have just fallen into place, I think this is a God thing.
I have been through so much in my life, that it is time for some happiness!!

Live life for today....

To My Son

My son, my baby boy! I miss you so much! I think it will never quit hurting so bad! I dream about you, I think about you every waking minute. I want you back in my life, so I can hug you and kiss you and wipe your tears away and tell you everything is going to be ok. We could play basketball together, go for a drive, ride the motorcycles, shoot the gun, sit on the porch and talk or any of the many things we used to do. I really don't know how to live my life without you in it. I pick up my phone to call you, and realize I can't. I find myself wondering when you are going to call, just to remember you aren't! I want so bad to be able to talk to you! I talk to you every morning driving to work then through out the day and driving home from work, then through out the evening. I wonder if you are hearing what I am saying. I long to hear your voice and see your face in real life. I know you sent me the message that everything would be ok, but I'm not ok. I feel like I am just dieing inside and nothing can stop it. I just want to go to the cemetery and lay by your graveside and never leave there. Tomorrow is 4 months since we laid you to rest. How could time keep going when you are gone? I love you forever and a day!

Live life for today.....

One of those days!!

Ever had one of those days, where as soon as your eyes open in the morning, you feel as though something isn't right?? Well today is one of those days for me! Seems no matter what I do, just can't shake the feeling.
Dreamed about Skylar last night, man what a dream! He was there bigger than life in my face telling me he misses me and was happy to see me. Has he not been seeing me? They say, people that have passed on sometimes come to you in your dreams!
I don't know, maybe it's me, been in a funk all week, can't seem to get out of it. Probably because Saturday is 4 months since Sky died. Man some days it seems like it was just yesterday.
I know you guys that read my blog are probably tired of hearing about this, but sorry!
I have to get it out somehow! This seems like the perfect place to do it, I can just type how I am feeling and get it all out!
I love and miss him so much! Been working on a couple of projects with the pics I have of him. They are gonna turn out awesome!

Live life for today....

Graduate

Well my Little Man graduated from K-1 last night. Let me tell you it was a fantastic night, one to remember. We are so proud of him. Afterward, we took him to eat at the place of his choice. He chose a mexican food resturant that wasn't too bad. We had Duce there with us, Mom and Dad, Aunt Dadda and Aunt Mammie! What a fun family time. Hayden and Duce were playing with my camera and took several pics, some good, some of the table, LOL! We also learned that there is a girl in Hayden's class that he is, by his own words, "so in love with". Aunt Mammie had to do some investigating to find out which one she was, he told us her name then pointed her out in one of the many pics that were taken. Well needless to say, she is a little cutie pie!
Well that's about all I have for today.

Live life for today....

Rainy Days

What a wet and cold weekend, I done almost nothing except sit on the sofa covered up with my Harley blankie, T'Pel on one side and Tuvok on the other. The birds got taken care of, everybody else was on their own.
Now at work and it is still raining. First of the month, billing time. A really busy time for me. I have to say it makes it easier to sit in my office and do what I have to do when it is raining.
Talked to Hayden, he is so precious. I asked him what he was doing, he told me he was trying to find the big hole in the earth that was in the picture, but he didn't see a hole. He kept asking me where it was, well I was on the phone and he was at Grannie and Poppy's so I couldn't see what he was looking at. He says Aunt Dadda sent him pictures to his house too but he didn't get them. Patty and Jimmy went on vacation to the Grand Canyon, hence the "big hole in the earth" he was looking for.
Sunday is Mother's Day....Not looking forward to it at all.

Live life for today.....