One More Day

Sunday was 7 months! Man is time flying by or what? It was a sad day then turned out to be a good day! Me and Roy had looked at a house on the lake (The Lake House) but the owners had more people to look at it. We found out on Sunday that we get to move into it! We are so excited and can't wait! The signs were all there, I was just being doubtful! You walk out the front door and across the yard on the back of a storage shed is a sun and a moon, anybody who truly know me, knows what that means! Then looking at the pull string for the ceiling fan in the living room, had a bird on it! Took Hayden with us to see the house and pay the deposit, he liked it until he realized there was nothing to do right at that moment, then he was bored!
I love and miss you my son!!

Live life for today!!!

Getting on....

6 months ago today we buried our son! What a day to remember, it was then that we admitted we still loved each other. Thank you for being there, I really do love you!
I threw the first shovel of dirt on the grave, Roy threw the next several shovel fulls on. Why can't we just have him back? Only God knows why he was taken from us at such an early age. I know we have all the memories, sometimes that just isn't enough! I long to see his face, hear his voice, touch his hands, have him come in the house saying Momma look at my new tat or see a new piercing he has. Or even just to hear him say "Momma I love you"!
RIP my angel, until I see you again!
Dream as though you'll live forever, Live as though you'll go tomorrow!

Live life for today.....

1/2 a year

Six months today. What a somber day. Seems like it was just yesterday on some days, others, seems like it was a lifetime ago. I miss him so much. He was my first and only baby! I think about him constantly. 12:45 this morning, he is all that was on my mind! Who is he, well he is Skylar Zentner Young I, born 11/22/85 died 01/23/09! The day my world came crashing in around me. I hear other people talking about how they wish they could just get rid of their kids for a while and it makes me really sad and angry, because oh how I wish I could have just one more day with mine! Got the autopsy report yesterday, finally, and that opened it all wide open again, spent the day reading that and having his life flashing before my eyes, from birth till we buried him. There were a couple of things on there that I didn't notice at the hospital, his dad says they looked through a microscope, we were looking through tears. You would think a momma would notice things on her child. I looked at his hands, his feet, his face, his arms, his legs, his chest, his everything.

Skylar Zentner, momma loves you and always will!!

Live life for today......

Finally....

Well it has been a while since I have been on here so I thought maybe it was time. Life is so wonderful these days, the boys are getting big, Hayden will be turning 6 the 5th of next month, Duce is almost 3. Man how fast they grow. I got to spend the day with them on Friday! We had lots of fun, even though I was wore out at the end of the day. Hayden learned how to call Poppa from my phone, BIG MISTAKE!! When I told him no, he just called Poppa and he said yes. Duce has learned a few new "choice phrases" that aren't so good for him to be saying.
I am so happy to have the love of my life back in my life now. It is like we were never apart.
We have been going to visit our son on the weekends. Went last Sunday and I was Okay, I haven't been Okay in a long time. I was really disappointed in myself for feeling this way. That is until everyone kept telling me it is Okay to be Okay, and Skylar wouldn't want me to be the way I have been.
Life is Wonderful, but remember, you only have today, tomorrow is never promised.

Live life for today.....

Lemonade??

When life throws you lemons, do you make lemonade? Sure have been making a lot of it lately! It is so nice to be living out of all the drama and chaos I have known for so long! Wonderful to be happy again! My Tuvok and T'Pel went to a new home, hope they will be happy, thanks Aunt Tammie for taking such good care of them! The birds are adjusting and happy as ever!! They are talking more now than they ever have! I love it!

Live life for today.....

5 Months

Today has been five months since that terrible phone call, seems like it was just yesterday! I love and miss you so much my son!

Live life for today!!

Weekend

What a weekend, Tam has the pups, so I was there every morning and evening taking care of them while she was away on vacation. Went to McAlester and got a new car, that I love, it has A/C, a radio with a cd player that works, the horn works, I have a key that will get into every door and the trunk and the windshield wipers work!!! I feel like I am really moving up in the world! Loads of laundry were done, some unpacking was done, had to come back to work just to get a break!!
Went to the cemetery on Saturday, took a Mustang and put on Skylar's grave, this was a hard visit with him, first time in 5 years I haven't been able to call and say Happy Father's Day son. Tried to look at cards, however, that was not happening! Had to get out of the store.

Live life for today!