Getting on....

6 months ago today we buried our son! What a day to remember, it was then that we admitted we still loved each other. Thank you for being there, I really do love you!
I threw the first shovel of dirt on the grave, Roy threw the next several shovel fulls on. Why can't we just have him back? Only God knows why he was taken from us at such an early age. I know we have all the memories, sometimes that just isn't enough! I long to see his face, hear his voice, touch his hands, have him come in the house saying Momma look at my new tat or see a new piercing he has. Or even just to hear him say "Momma I love you"!
RIP my angel, until I see you again!
Dream as though you'll live forever, Live as though you'll go tomorrow!

Live life for today.....

1/2 a year

Six months today. What a somber day. Seems like it was just yesterday on some days, others, seems like it was a lifetime ago. I miss him so much. He was my first and only baby! I think about him constantly. 12:45 this morning, he is all that was on my mind! Who is he, well he is Skylar Zentner Young I, born 11/22/85 died 01/23/09! The day my world came crashing in around me. I hear other people talking about how they wish they could just get rid of their kids for a while and it makes me really sad and angry, because oh how I wish I could have just one more day with mine! Got the autopsy report yesterday, finally, and that opened it all wide open again, spent the day reading that and having his life flashing before my eyes, from birth till we buried him. There were a couple of things on there that I didn't notice at the hospital, his dad says they looked through a microscope, we were looking through tears. You would think a momma would notice things on her child. I looked at his hands, his feet, his face, his arms, his legs, his chest, his everything.

Skylar Zentner, momma loves you and always will!!

Live life for today......

Finally....

Well it has been a while since I have been on here so I thought maybe it was time. Life is so wonderful these days, the boys are getting big, Hayden will be turning 6 the 5th of next month, Duce is almost 3. Man how fast they grow. I got to spend the day with them on Friday! We had lots of fun, even though I was wore out at the end of the day. Hayden learned how to call Poppa from my phone, BIG MISTAKE!! When I told him no, he just called Poppa and he said yes. Duce has learned a few new "choice phrases" that aren't so good for him to be saying.
I am so happy to have the love of my life back in my life now. It is like we were never apart.
We have been going to visit our son on the weekends. Went last Sunday and I was Okay, I haven't been Okay in a long time. I was really disappointed in myself for feeling this way. That is until everyone kept telling me it is Okay to be Okay, and Skylar wouldn't want me to be the way I have been.
Life is Wonderful, but remember, you only have today, tomorrow is never promised.

Live life for today.....

Lemonade??

When life throws you lemons, do you make lemonade? Sure have been making a lot of it lately! It is so nice to be living out of all the drama and chaos I have known for so long! Wonderful to be happy again! My Tuvok and T'Pel went to a new home, hope they will be happy, thanks Aunt Tammie for taking such good care of them! The birds are adjusting and happy as ever!! They are talking more now than they ever have! I love it!

Live life for today.....

5 Months

Today has been five months since that terrible phone call, seems like it was just yesterday! I love and miss you so much my son!

Live life for today!!

Weekend

What a weekend, Tam has the pups, so I was there every morning and evening taking care of them while she was away on vacation. Went to McAlester and got a new car, that I love, it has A/C, a radio with a cd player that works, the horn works, I have a key that will get into every door and the trunk and the windshield wipers work!!! I feel like I am really moving up in the world! Loads of laundry were done, some unpacking was done, had to come back to work just to get a break!!
Went to the cemetery on Saturday, took a Mustang and put on Skylar's grave, this was a hard visit with him, first time in 5 years I haven't been able to call and say Happy Father's Day son. Tried to look at cards, however, that was not happening! Had to get out of the store.

Live life for today!

Moving on in Life

Ok so I finally done it, the move is almost complete, a few odds and ends left to get out of the house. It is time for me to be me and find out who me really is! Steve is going to be upset, but I think he will get over it. I got an apt that is perfect for me and the critters. Just hope the birds don't get too loud that the neighbors complain! I think my life will continue to improve from here. The way things have just fallen into place, I think this is a God thing.
I have been through so much in my life, that it is time for some happiness!!

Live life for today....